Ugghh!

So many things are going on, I just can’t deal! I’m so overwhelmed, saddened, frustrated and pissed off. I don’t understand why life can’t just be right for once? Why does it always have to be a fight for everything? Did I do something wrong in a past life, that I was brought back to endure all this? I just don’t know anymore!

For starters, I hate having to deal with my own insurance and medical issues. Isn’t that my medical team’s problem? Every single time there’s and issue, I end of having to make all the calls and get it worked out! That’s not my job! My doctors office is supposed to deal with the insurance. At least that’s the way it’s always been, until I moved here. This shit is nuts! 

I finally got approved for the IVIG, but the insurance only gave authorization for 1 round, which is for a week, but only made the authorization good until July 2nd. WTF? Now my doctors office, infusion center and pharmacy are scrambling to get this all worked out, so I can get a full week of IVIG before July 2nd. When you have to rush like that, mistakes happen. I don’t need any mistakes when it comes to my medical care. My quality of life has already been affected. I don’t need it worse!

Also, having a chronic illness is really taking a toll on life going on around me. I feel like I’m a burden to those around me, and they don’t seem very supportive either. I understand that their life has changed too, as I’m not able to work anymore or go out a lot, but shit people, have some sort of empathy! I didn’t ask for this to happen to me! I wouldn’t wish being this sick on my worst enemy! Do you think I enjoy being this sick? WTF are you smoking? I hate this! I wish I could be a normal, healthy person, whatever normal is. I hate being sick! I hate not being able to go anywhere! I hate not being able to work! I want my old life back! The life I had before I got too sick to do anything! I’m sorry I’m a burden to everyone, but fuck, cut me some slack! Damn!

Okay, I’m done ranting! Maybe I just needed to get that out. Sorry if I offended anyone with the language. I didn’t mean to. I’m just so upset! 

I hope everyone else is having a better day! 

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